There can be some real family issues when it comes to taking care of loved one’s long term care needs.  Whether it fighting over who spends more time with the realtive or arguing over every miniscule decision, it makes sense to take a step back and think about a few things.

1.  Be proactive and talk (and listen) before an incident occurs.  Do it when as many family members can be there as possible.  A holiday, a birthday, another event when you can all sit down and find out each others wishes and make a list of things to do or research.   The Mayo Clinic has a small section on discussing long term care with loved ones.  It stresses active listening!

2.  Make a Plan.   The previous Mayo Clinic article has some insight into planning, but AGIS.com has a more detailed article that can help you out.   It stresses that the best plans include several elements (think Plan A and Plan B).
But what if an incident has occurred without prior discussions?  Disagreements can easily arise in this situation so some things to keep in mind are:

1.  Is there a spouse involved?  The discussion should start with her/him.  What are their needs and wants for the one in long term care?  How can the family support him/her?

2.  Can the family agree on someone to take the lead?  If you can all agree that one family member can be responsible, then release all the decisions to him/her.  This alleviates the entire family having to come together for each miniscule decision.

3.  Find an attorney who specializes in Long Term Care.  This can be really helpful because sometimes not all the family members understand the issues or the options and an attorney can be an unbiased, third party who can help family members focus on the issues at hand.

4.  Always remember that the relative in long term care should be first in every decision.  You want the best care for this individual without putting undue strain on the family!